Men Are Jerks.... Don't You Think?!

Today as I was sitting on the beach watching my boyfriend teach a surf lesson a drunk, seemingly homeless (he would somewhat prove me wrong on that one....) man approached me...


"Men are jerks! Don't you think? I don't mean to scare you... I just want you to know that men are jerks!"
"Yeah..."
"I hope no one steals my stuff... It's just a tarp and some food. I came here to meet a guy who said he wanted to fight me but he didn't show up! He was a big guy too! HUGE! So now since he didn't show up, I'm drinking a 40! I have to go back to the Haight soon to sing. I make $102 singing you know. Can I sing for you?"
"No, it's okay."
"I have a wife and kids. She grew up in Santa Cruz, my kids were born there... We have a house there. I also have 7 castles in England, you know? .... Can I sing for you? I'm not trying to pick up on you... One wife is enough!! Can I please practice my vocals for you? I'm on my knees begging you like John Lennon!"
"No, I have to watch this surf lesson."
"Honey, you don't have to do anything! You don't have to do a thing he tells you. Men don't control you!! I'm going to walk over here and practice my vocals, just so you know."

As he finally walked away another surf instructor came running up to me and told me that some other woman had called the cops on this guy because she had had a much more threatening conversation with this guy. Luckily he only wanted to warn me about men and finally understood my brush off!

Sometimes You Have To Just Say No...

Today after a long day at school I got on the 43 Masonic and was happy to see a couple empty seats. A young guy approaches the seat next to me and asks if he can sit - I assumed this was because I had my stuff rolling over onto the seat.

The minute he sits down a god awful wave of B.O. hits me.

Ten minutes later I look over at him from gasping for air on my other side and think he has a friend that he is talking to. I soon find out that he is actually singing and talking to himself. Some of the lyrics I caught from him were:

"I'm not gunna wear a woman's wetsuit... I'm a man! Give me a small man's wetsuit."

"It's my birthday and I want to go out with my friends. But no one compliments me! All my friends are out..." - This is accompanied by him acting like a five year old and pouting and stomping.

He sang the chorus every few lines and it went like this:

"I've got hurt feelings. Hurt feelings. I've got hurt feelings." - In a very high pitched voice.

So, moral of the story is that though I now feel for this guy a little because his song does seem a little sad, sometimes you have to just say no to Muni goers asking to sit next to you!