Praise Jesus, A Woman!

Today the 43 Masonic was super packed but I managed to see a couple seats in back that no one was using. So I made my way back there and there was a young guy with a skateboard standing in the way. I ducked under his arm and he let me by and when he did a crazy man in the row behind mine goes:

"Yeah!!!"
Skateboarder: That was chivalry.
Man: Praise Jesus!! You brought me a woman!
Skater: Are you Christian?
Man: Protestant. Fuck those Mormons! You follow Jesus, you get the women.
Skater: I go to church every Sunday and I have a woman. So you're right!
Man: I don't. My ex smoked crack 3 times and I did too and she still says "I love you".... NO!! End that conversation!
Skater: Haha
Man: My name's Bruce Lee. What's yours?
Skater: I used to be obsessed with Bruce Lee too.
Man: I'm not obsessed. I AM Bruce Lee!
Skater: Alright this is my stop.
Man: What's your name?
Skater: Ignatius
Man: Is that biblical? Wait! Is that biblical!?! Does anyone on the bus know if that's biblical?! Well.... close enough! That boy is under the spirit. Knocking on Jesus' door with that name. White people are nice. ALL OF THEM!

This man smelled like tuna and the whole conversation had me thinking maybe the skater was a little nuts too.

Man Whore?

"Hearing you say that makes me happy I'm single... That doesn't mean I'm a man ho... DUH!!" - Guy on the 43 Masonic

151 For Breakfast

Today on the 43 Masonic, two people got on together. One was hiding a big bottle of Bacardi 151 in his coat pocket not very discretely. They both sit down and he takes the bottle out of his pocket and it is clear that the bottle is stolen because the security clasp is still on it. They both try to pry it off without success except that the girl does get some spilled on her somehow. This is all happening two blocks before the stop to get off at school and the girl goes:

"We'll have to keep trying, but now I smell like Bacardi. It's not big deal, it's just school."

She wasn't being sarcastic and this was at 8:30am.... Never too early for some 151 I guess!

You Smell Gooood

I got the following compliment from the guy sitting next to me on the 43 this morning:

Guy: Excuse me....
Me: Yes?
Guy: Most people don't know how to choose perfume very well but ... you really do!!

Sometimes You Have To Just Say No...

Today after a long day at school I got on the 43 Masonic and was happy to see a couple empty seats. A young guy approaches the seat next to me and asks if he can sit - I assumed this was because I had my stuff rolling over onto the seat.

The minute he sits down a god awful wave of B.O. hits me.

Ten minutes later I look over at him from gasping for air on my other side and think he has a friend that he is talking to. I soon find out that he is actually singing and talking to himself. Some of the lyrics I caught from him were:

"I'm not gunna wear a woman's wetsuit... I'm a man! Give me a small man's wetsuit."

"It's my birthday and I want to go out with my friends. But no one compliments me! All my friends are out..." - This is accompanied by him acting like a five year old and pouting and stomping.

He sang the chorus every few lines and it went like this:

"I've got hurt feelings. Hurt feelings. I've got hurt feelings." - In a very high pitched voice.

So, moral of the story is that though I now feel for this guy a little because his song does seem a little sad, sometimes you have to just say no to Muni goers asking to sit next to you!

Roller Coaster Bus

I was on the 38 Geary the other day along with a tiny child who, at every downhill no matter how small, would scream and put his hands up in the air as if he were on a roller coaster. I thought this was cute until today, on the 43 Masonic, I saw that this seemed to be a new fad... And when a big group of 12 year olds are screaming at the top of their lungs at every bump and downhill (hello! we are in San Francisco here!) it is far from amusing.
The 43 was so soooo crowded, like never before, because of these kids who insisted on screaming. I can only hope they weren't from San Francisco and that the hills were some kind of "treat" for them, because if they live here and if that's how they react every time they experience hills, I will never ride the 43 again.

Wise men learn from JayB

"I was raised to be a good person. I was let to make all my own decisions and think what is right. But look where I am. A fool learns from his own mistakes and a wise man learns from others." - JayB, 43 Masonic

No bars for JayB

"Bars are retarded. Bitches just want you to buy them drinks. You should be buying me a drink. What the fuck is that shit?" -JayB, 43 Masonic

JayB can't get a girl

JayB* is a kid I used to see on muni a lot. Because of that, I overheard a lot of his obnoxious yet sometimes funny conversations and remarks. The next few posts will be all his words. Though what he said always made me cringe and want to scream, it's a bummer he's not on the bus anymore to add some amusement to the ride:

"I used to go to the mall because I lived in New York.  I had one friend. The place was a shit hole. I was dirt poor. We walked on the freeway. We stole dungeons and dragons books because we didn't have shit and we tried to pick up girls but it didn't work because no girls were brave enough to come experience the shadow of darkness with us. " - JayB, 43 Masonic