Men Are Jerks.... Don't You Think?!

Today as I was sitting on the beach watching my boyfriend teach a surf lesson a drunk, seemingly homeless (he would somewhat prove me wrong on that one....) man approached me...


"Men are jerks! Don't you think? I don't mean to scare you... I just want you to know that men are jerks!"
"Yeah..."
"I hope no one steals my stuff... It's just a tarp and some food. I came here to meet a guy who said he wanted to fight me but he didn't show up! He was a big guy too! HUGE! So now since he didn't show up, I'm drinking a 40! I have to go back to the Haight soon to sing. I make $102 singing you know. Can I sing for you?"
"No, it's okay."
"I have a wife and kids. She grew up in Santa Cruz, my kids were born there... We have a house there. I also have 7 castles in England, you know? .... Can I sing for you? I'm not trying to pick up on you... One wife is enough!! Can I please practice my vocals for you? I'm on my knees begging you like John Lennon!"
"No, I have to watch this surf lesson."
"Honey, you don't have to do anything! You don't have to do a thing he tells you. Men don't control you!! I'm going to walk over here and practice my vocals, just so you know."

As he finally walked away another surf instructor came running up to me and told me that some other woman had called the cops on this guy because she had had a much more threatening conversation with this guy. Luckily he only wanted to warn me about men and finally understood my brush off!

Muni Makes You Drink

Buddy, you aren't fooling anyone with your bloodshot eyes and brown paper bag... The giggling to yourself doesn't help either.

151 For Breakfast

Today on the 43 Masonic, two people got on together. One was hiding a big bottle of Bacardi 151 in his coat pocket not very discretely. They both sit down and he takes the bottle out of his pocket and it is clear that the bottle is stolen because the security clasp is still on it. They both try to pry it off without success except that the girl does get some spilled on her somehow. This is all happening two blocks before the stop to get off at school and the girl goes:

"We'll have to keep trying, but now I smell like Bacardi. It's not big deal, it's just school."

She wasn't being sarcastic and this was at 8:30am.... Never too early for some 151 I guess!

Bottoms Up!

"If you're taking shots you need a line of salt or sugar. I'm soo drunk! Let's go, whores!" - Castro Station, 9:30 pm.