I was standing on the 38 Geary with my boyfriend going home from downtown and found myself smushed between a little group of friends who had the following conversation around me. Of course, I was eventually pulled into the conversation...
Guy1: Ay, where you goin?
Guy2: Haight. Goin to get tatted.
Guy1: What you gettin tatted?
Guy2: I dunno...
Guy1: You don't know?! ... Who you with?
Guy2: Girl
Guy1: Oh... I got jumped today by your bro Adrian.
Guy2: Why?
Guy1: I was wearing Jordan's and they jumped me and chased me down the block. He punched me in the face. He's your bro, can you talk to him?
Guy2: He don't listen to me.
Guy1: ... When does Jose get out?
Guy2: Two or three years.
Guy1: Damn...
Guy1 (to older, homeless looking man): Where you headed, bro? AKA old geezer..
[Old guy mumbles something incomprehensible]
Guy1 (looks at me): You got some pretty eyes!
[Guy2 and Old guy start cracking up at Guy1]
Guy1: WHAT?! What?! You gotta be nice! Damn!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
A Day On Turk & Jones
If you happen to spend a day in San Francisco's Tenderloin, specifically on Turk Street & Jones, you might experience something similar to what I experienced today in the span of just 7 hours.
- Two domestic abuse arguments involving police officers. One alone had 5 police officers, 2 of which were standing there adjusting their uniforms and telling the man to just stand back and relax. The other situation, where the man yelled: "Ohh sure! The whore gets it all!" at the top of his lungs.
- A bakery named Hung Phat Bakery & Coffee which, if it wasn't a semi shut down hole in the wall, maybe wouldn't be soo sketchy or funny for that matter.
- Four arrests. Two of which were done by undercover police officers and which were clearly intense drug busts.
- One man wearing ass-less pants. Yes, ASS-LESS pants! Another man with his all matching track suit only slightly buttoned up and hanging on by literally a thread.
- Two men fully in white camo.
And last but definitely not least...
- Three pimps. One of which was trying to sell fake Rolex watches (shown below).
- Two domestic abuse arguments involving police officers. One alone had 5 police officers, 2 of which were standing there adjusting their uniforms and telling the man to just stand back and relax. The other situation, where the man yelled: "Ohh sure! The whore gets it all!" at the top of his lungs.
- A bakery named Hung Phat Bakery & Coffee which, if it wasn't a semi shut down hole in the wall, maybe wouldn't be soo sketchy or funny for that matter.
- Four arrests. Two of which were done by undercover police officers and which were clearly intense drug busts.
- One man wearing ass-less pants. Yes, ASS-LESS pants! Another man with his all matching track suit only slightly buttoned up and hanging on by literally a thread.
- Two men fully in white camo.
And last but definitely not least...
- Three pimps. One of which was trying to sell fake Rolex watches (shown below).
Friday, February 17, 2012
Uptight Muni
These are three separate conversations that all happened in a super cramped, uncomfortable 15 minute Muni ride.
- Why so many people getting on this muni?! It's FULL! Get your fat ass on here already, woman! Jesus!
Young Guy: Excuse me, you're in my space!
Older Guy: Everyone is in everyone's space.
Younger: Not exactly though.
Older: Uhh..Okay...
Guy 1: Remember when I touched her bottom? Hahahahah That was supposed to be a turn on.
Guy 2: That was a turn off for her!
- Why so many people getting on this muni?! It's FULL! Get your fat ass on here already, woman! Jesus!
Young Guy: Excuse me, you're in my space!
Older Guy: Everyone is in everyone's space.
Younger: Not exactly though.
Older: Uhh..Okay...
Guy 1: Remember when I touched her bottom? Hahahahah That was supposed to be a turn on.
Guy 2: That was a turn off for her!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Need Hookers
"Bitch give me no pussy for weeks! Need 3 hookers." - Homless man's sign in Union Square
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Damn, You Must Be A Businessman!
I, unfortunately, never got to see who this conversation was between but I think it makes it just a little bit better!
"Damn! You got a fancy phone like that! You must be important!"
"Yeah..."
"Must be a business man!"
"Yeah. You know we all gotta work."
"You got games on there too?"
"Eh..."
"You gotta ask a geek what games to get. I know how to turn it on..."
5 minutes later...
"Where do you get all your smarts from? School?"
"I get busy!"
"Pscht. I don't need to know all 50 states."
"Damn! You got a fancy phone like that! You must be important!"
"Yeah..."
"Must be a business man!"
"Yeah. You know we all gotta work."
"You got games on there too?"
"Eh..."
"You gotta ask a geek what games to get. I know how to turn it on..."
5 minutes later...
"Where do you get all your smarts from? School?"
"I get busy!"
"Pscht. I don't need to know all 50 states."
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Men Are Jerks.... Don't You Think?!
Today as I was sitting on the beach watching my boyfriend teach a surf lesson a drunk, seemingly homeless (he would somewhat prove me wrong on that one....) man approached me...
"Men are jerks! Don't you think? I don't mean to scare you... I just want you to know that men are jerks!"
"Yeah..."
"I hope no one steals my stuff... It's just a tarp and some food. I came here to meet a guy who said he wanted to fight me but he didn't show up! He was a big guy too! HUGE! So now since he didn't show up, I'm drinking a 40! I have to go back to the Haight soon to sing. I make $102 singing you know. Can I sing for you?"
"No, it's okay."
"I have a wife and kids. She grew up in Santa Cruz, my kids were born there... We have a house there. I also have 7 castles in England, you know? .... Can I sing for you? I'm not trying to pick up on you... One wife is enough!! Can I please practice my vocals for you? I'm on my knees begging you like John Lennon!"
"No, I have to watch this surf lesson."
"Honey, you don't have to do anything! You don't have to do a thing he tells you. Men don't control you!! I'm going to walk over here and practice my vocals, just so you know."
As he finally walked away another surf instructor came running up to me and told me that some other woman had called the cops on this guy because she had had a much more threatening conversation with this guy. Luckily he only wanted to warn me about men and finally understood my brush off!
"Men are jerks! Don't you think? I don't mean to scare you... I just want you to know that men are jerks!"
"Yeah..."
"I hope no one steals my stuff... It's just a tarp and some food. I came here to meet a guy who said he wanted to fight me but he didn't show up! He was a big guy too! HUGE! So now since he didn't show up, I'm drinking a 40! I have to go back to the Haight soon to sing. I make $102 singing you know. Can I sing for you?"
"No, it's okay."
"I have a wife and kids. She grew up in Santa Cruz, my kids were born there... We have a house there. I also have 7 castles in England, you know? .... Can I sing for you? I'm not trying to pick up on you... One wife is enough!! Can I please practice my vocals for you? I'm on my knees begging you like John Lennon!"
"No, I have to watch this surf lesson."
"Honey, you don't have to do anything! You don't have to do a thing he tells you. Men don't control you!! I'm going to walk over here and practice my vocals, just so you know."
As he finally walked away another surf instructor came running up to me and told me that some other woman had called the cops on this guy because she had had a much more threatening conversation with this guy. Luckily he only wanted to warn me about men and finally understood my brush off!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
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