Hoetel

Overheard on the J train at 10:00 AM:

"Yeah, I'm going to the hotel.. Yeah, that's right, the HOtel! That's where all the hoes are at!"

Amuurrica!

Happy 4th of July!

Cute Outfit

It's good to add a little color to an all black outfit...

But I think better to know when not to.

Shit My Cabby Tells Me [Part 3]

"Where are all good looking women with a lot of money? I want a 24 to 30 year old who's hot with lots of money!"


"I personally think Canada should be divided into three. And America should be divided into black, whites, hispanics, and one for the south. They are nuts! Are there nut jobs in Canada? I like the French language. It's so sweet, even the bad words!"

Wow... Next time I need to go home early from work I will take the risk of throwing up on muni!

I Guess I'll Walk...

This is the, albeit pretty, path you have to walk when an SUV crashes into the J train you are on. 

Thank god it's Friday...

https://twitter.com/sfmta_muni/status/208715156975398912

Shit My Cabby Tells Me [Part 2]

"Look at these dummies walking everywhere on the street! I guess not everyone is smart like me. I'm in the wrong business... Look at these people - always rushing! Running, running. Then they have a heart attack!"

"This town has so much construction. City supervisors don't know how to do it. This should be done at night when no one is here! No one lives here! Look at all this traffic!"

Shit My Cabby Tells Me [Part 1]

Last night I had something close to, if not full-on, food poisoning. In an attempt to be a good employee, I went to work as usual today but as anyone could have guessed, did not make it for too long. In a rushed attempt to not throw up at work or on MUNI, I decided to take a taxi home. Though it's not MUNI, it may as well have been - the small space of the car with a clueless, racist, crazy and wildly chatty cabby did help my already prevalent nausea...

[These will be broken up into more than one post]

"Where are you headed?"
"Noe Valley"
"We call that no man's land. Everyone takes a prescription medication and sleeps for two days there. No young girl lives there. Everyone is old. It's so boring in that area!"


I'm pretty sure he is wildly incorrect about the demographic of Noe Valley.

Killer Boots

It seems I've made a new friend on 24th Street who is always there when I get off the 48.. Yesterday I think he really liked my jegging, sweater and boot outfit...

"Hey killer boots, how are ya?!! Working it well ... mhmmmm"

Muni Loves Ya!

"Next stop... Civic Center! And remember.... Muni looooves ya! Have a good day and see you mañana!" - N-Judah Muni driver.

No need for pants on St. Patty's

You Gotta Be Nice, Damn!!

I was standing on the 38 Geary with my boyfriend going home from downtown and found myself smushed between a little group of friends who had the following conversation around me. Of course, I was eventually pulled into the conversation...

Guy1: Ay, where you goin?
Guy2: Haight. Goin to get tatted.
Guy1: What you gettin tatted?
Guy2: I dunno...
Guy1: You don't know?! ... Who you with?
Guy2: Girl
Guy1: Oh... I got jumped today by your bro Adrian.
Guy2: Why?
Guy1: I was wearing Jordan's and they jumped me and chased me down the block. He punched me in the face. He's your bro, can you talk to him?
Guy2: He don't listen to me.
Guy1: ... When does Jose get out?
Guy2: Two or three years.
Guy1: Damn...
Guy1 (to older, homeless looking man): Where you headed, bro? AKA old geezer..
[Old guy mumbles something incomprehensible]
Guy1 (looks at me): You got some pretty eyes!
[Guy2 and Old guy start cracking up at Guy1]
Guy1: WHAT?! What?! You gotta be nice! Damn!

A Day On Turk & Jones

If you happen to spend a day in San Francisco's Tenderloin, specifically on Turk Street & Jones, you might experience something similar to what I experienced today in the span of just 7 hours.

- Two domestic abuse arguments involving police officers. One alone had 5 police officers, 2 of which were standing there adjusting their uniforms and telling the man to just stand back and relax. The other situation, where the man yelled: "Ohh sure! The whore gets it all!" at the top of his lungs.

- A bakery named Hung Phat Bakery & Coffee which, if it wasn't a semi shut down hole in the wall, maybe wouldn't be soo sketchy or funny for that matter.

- Four arrests. Two of which were done by undercover police officers and which were clearly intense drug busts.

- One man wearing ass-less pants. Yes, ASS-LESS pants! Another man with his all matching track suit only slightly buttoned up and hanging on by literally a thread.

- Two men fully in white camo.

And last but definitely not least...

- Three pimps. One of which was trying to sell fake Rolex watches (shown below).

Uptight Muni

These are three separate conversations that all happened in a super cramped, uncomfortable 15 minute Muni ride.

- Why so many people getting on this muni?! It's FULL! Get your fat ass on here already, woman! Jesus!

Young Guy: Excuse me, you're in my space!
Older Guy: Everyone is in everyone's space.
Younger: Not exactly though.
Older: Uhh..Okay...

Guy 1: Remember when I touched her bottom? Hahahahah That was supposed to be a turn on.
Guy 2: That was a turn off for her!

Need Hookers

"Bitch give me no pussy for weeks! Need 3 hookers." - Homless man's sign in Union Square

Damn, You Must Be A Businessman!

I, unfortunately, never got to see who this conversation was between but I think it makes it just a little bit better!

"Damn! You got a fancy phone like that! You must be important!"
"Yeah..."
"Must be a business man!"
"Yeah. You know we all gotta work."
"You got games on there too?"
"Eh..."
"You gotta ask a geek what games to get. I know how to turn it on..."

5 minutes later...

"Where do you get all your smarts from? School?"
"I get busy!"
"Pscht. I don't need to know all 50 states."

Men Are Jerks.... Don't You Think?!

Today as I was sitting on the beach watching my boyfriend teach a surf lesson a drunk, seemingly homeless (he would somewhat prove me wrong on that one....) man approached me...


"Men are jerks! Don't you think? I don't mean to scare you... I just want you to know that men are jerks!"
"Yeah..."
"I hope no one steals my stuff... It's just a tarp and some food. I came here to meet a guy who said he wanted to fight me but he didn't show up! He was a big guy too! HUGE! So now since he didn't show up, I'm drinking a 40! I have to go back to the Haight soon to sing. I make $102 singing you know. Can I sing for you?"
"No, it's okay."
"I have a wife and kids. She grew up in Santa Cruz, my kids were born there... We have a house there. I also have 7 castles in England, you know? .... Can I sing for you? I'm not trying to pick up on you... One wife is enough!! Can I please practice my vocals for you? I'm on my knees begging you like John Lennon!"
"No, I have to watch this surf lesson."
"Honey, you don't have to do anything! You don't have to do a thing he tells you. Men don't control you!! I'm going to walk over here and practice my vocals, just so you know."

As he finally walked away another surf instructor came running up to me and told me that some other woman had called the cops on this guy because she had had a much more threatening conversation with this guy. Luckily he only wanted to warn me about men and finally understood my brush off!

No bag? No Problem.

Epitome of laziness? I see two free hands.... 

Road Rage

Today I was on the 24 and not one person was talking which seemed eerily quiet to me but, whatever, I thought. I even felt too awkward to call my friend on the phone like I had planned to, until....

"LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!!! JESUS!!!"

comes flying out of my Muni driver's mouth.

Who's Birthday Is It Really?

"You know what I give my grandkids for Christmas? IOU's. It's not their birthdays, it's Jesus'." - Older woman to a stranger on the 72.

Beauty & Brains

"You got a B? ... No? You got a C? Come on! You gotta get the grades to match the beauty!"