DTF

"Dude.... She was totally DTF. I mean, really! She kept playing with my hair... Like this! Seriously dude.... wow." - One dude to another at Powell Station

Stop Whoring!

Yesterday as I left Powell Station a man looked at me and yelled:

"Quit the whoring! Marry a virgin!"

Thank you, sir, for the advice.....

When Your Muni Driver Gets Frustrated

Today on the K I couldn't tell if my Muni driver was being funny or was seriously pissed off. First, she continuously complained about the driver in the Muni ahead...over the loud speaker:

"She stopped. I have no idea why... Ahhhh. Why would she stop?!"

Then a passenger pulled the stop request right as she was pulling away from a stop. I think we all knew they were requesting the next stop except for this Muni driver. She comes to a sudden stop in the middle of the intersection and, again over the loud speaker, goes:

"Pull before the stop! Are you getting off? Get off!! No. Get off at the next stop and pull before we get there!!"

Best Dressed On Muni

"I don't want no trantrums! No... You can put it down if you don't want to hold it. No trantrums! Aaand heeeree we are!! GEARY AND MASONIC!"

* "Trantrums" is not a typo...

Does Your Brain Get Smaller??

Girl: "You know when you smoke marijuana, you lose brain cells... Does that mean your brain gets smaller?"

Teacher: "No... You are losing cells the same way you do when you age but your brain stays the same size..."

Girl: "So I ain't smart no more?!?"

Sometimes You Have To Just Say No...

Today after a long day at school I got on the 43 Masonic and was happy to see a couple empty seats. A young guy approaches the seat next to me and asks if he can sit - I assumed this was because I had my stuff rolling over onto the seat.

The minute he sits down a god awful wave of B.O. hits me.

Ten minutes later I look over at him from gasping for air on my other side and think he has a friend that he is talking to. I soon find out that he is actually singing and talking to himself. Some of the lyrics I caught from him were:

"I'm not gunna wear a woman's wetsuit... I'm a man! Give me a small man's wetsuit."

"It's my birthday and I want to go out with my friends. But no one compliments me! All my friends are out..." - This is accompanied by him acting like a five year old and pouting and stomping.

He sang the chorus every few lines and it went like this:

"I've got hurt feelings. Hurt feelings. I've got hurt feelings." - In a very high pitched voice.

So, moral of the story is that though I now feel for this guy a little because his song does seem a little sad, sometimes you have to just say no to Muni goers asking to sit next to you!

Who Owns South Beach?

"Literally, that little midget owns HALF of South Beach" - Man talking about Gloria Estefan and her husband.