Muni Loves Ya!

"Next stop... Civic Center! And remember.... Muni looooves ya! Have a good day and see you mañana!" - N-Judah Muni driver.

No need for pants on St. Patty's

You Gotta Be Nice, Damn!!

I was standing on the 38 Geary with my boyfriend going home from downtown and found myself smushed between a little group of friends who had the following conversation around me. Of course, I was eventually pulled into the conversation...

Guy1: Ay, where you goin?
Guy2: Haight. Goin to get tatted.
Guy1: What you gettin tatted?
Guy2: I dunno...
Guy1: You don't know?! ... Who you with?
Guy2: Girl
Guy1: Oh... I got jumped today by your bro Adrian.
Guy2: Why?
Guy1: I was wearing Jordan's and they jumped me and chased me down the block. He punched me in the face. He's your bro, can you talk to him?
Guy2: He don't listen to me.
Guy1: ... When does Jose get out?
Guy2: Two or three years.
Guy1: Damn...
Guy1 (to older, homeless looking man): Where you headed, bro? AKA old geezer..
[Old guy mumbles something incomprehensible]
Guy1 (looks at me): You got some pretty eyes!
[Guy2 and Old guy start cracking up at Guy1]
Guy1: WHAT?! What?! You gotta be nice! Damn!

A Day On Turk & Jones

If you happen to spend a day in San Francisco's Tenderloin, specifically on Turk Street & Jones, you might experience something similar to what I experienced today in the span of just 7 hours.

- Two domestic abuse arguments involving police officers. One alone had 5 police officers, 2 of which were standing there adjusting their uniforms and telling the man to just stand back and relax. The other situation, where the man yelled: "Ohh sure! The whore gets it all!" at the top of his lungs.

- A bakery named Hung Phat Bakery & Coffee which, if it wasn't a semi shut down hole in the wall, maybe wouldn't be soo sketchy or funny for that matter.

- Four arrests. Two of which were done by undercover police officers and which were clearly intense drug busts.

- One man wearing ass-less pants. Yes, ASS-LESS pants! Another man with his all matching track suit only slightly buttoned up and hanging on by literally a thread.

- Two men fully in white camo.

And last but definitely not least...

- Three pimps. One of which was trying to sell fake Rolex watches (shown below).

Uptight Muni

These are three separate conversations that all happened in a super cramped, uncomfortable 15 minute Muni ride.

- Why so many people getting on this muni?! It's FULL! Get your fat ass on here already, woman! Jesus!

Young Guy: Excuse me, you're in my space!
Older Guy: Everyone is in everyone's space.
Younger: Not exactly though.
Older: Uhh..Okay...

Guy 1: Remember when I touched her bottom? Hahahahah That was supposed to be a turn on.
Guy 2: That was a turn off for her!

Need Hookers

"Bitch give me no pussy for weeks! Need 3 hookers." - Homless man's sign in Union Square

Damn, You Must Be A Businessman!

I, unfortunately, never got to see who this conversation was between but I think it makes it just a little bit better!

"Damn! You got a fancy phone like that! You must be important!"
"Yeah..."
"Must be a business man!"
"Yeah. You know we all gotta work."
"You got games on there too?"
"Eh..."
"You gotta ask a geek what games to get. I know how to turn it on..."

5 minutes later...

"Where do you get all your smarts from? School?"
"I get busy!"
"Pscht. I don't need to know all 50 states."