Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mardi Gras Giants Fan

Today a man got on the 35 Eureka wearing a sailor hat, tailored suit and many, many mardi gras beads. He screamed:
"Go Giants! Goooo Giants! GO GO GIANTS!"

Apparently he was well known though, as more than one other passenger, waved at and greeted him.

Caveman

Guy on the 24 tonight dressed like a caveman. He's dressing like I feel.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Proof of Payment

Today on the 38BX a MUNI guy came on the bus to check all our Clipper Cards. It took less than 2 minutes to get through everyone but the man behind me was livid:

"Oh. What the hell? This is such a waste of my time. What a fucking waste of time. God damnit..... This is ridiculous! Jesus christ!"

You would think that his reaction meant he didn't have proof of payment... But no, he did. He just clearly didn't have one tiny moment to spare.

Incidentally, this was the first time I have ever - and I mean ever, in my 20 years of living in San Francisco - been checked for payment on MUNI.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

No One On Muni At 6:30am

Today I was on the 24 Divisadero at 6:30am. Nothing special or exciting happened, I just don't think I have ever been on Muni that early and seeing from the lack of people on there, I'm assuming many of you haven't been either.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Lovesick

"She passed me a note in class that said 'I love you'.... I went to the bathroom and threw up." - Ten year old boy to his ten year old friends on the 22.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Women's Clothes?



"Does she have a lot of women's clothes? .... Does Valerie have a lot of women's clothes?!? .... I can come look?!" - 38 Geary, 7pm.


Monday, June 13, 2011

Just Get On The Bus!

Older Asian woman gets on the 1 California today and her Clipper beeps wildly over and over again...

Bus Driver: Press it agaisnt the blue part. Again. Again. Do it again! Again.
Woman: [Looking flustered, ready to give up]
Driver: Again! Do it again! Do it again! Just get on the bus!

This happened twice. The second time with a very elderly Asian man missing all his teeth. Everyone on the bus was laughing at the bus driver's persistance but he seemed to be doing it in more of a supportive tone than an angry one. Nice surprise.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Ass-Naked At Hot Cookie

I was on the 24 Diisadero yesterday and we were stopped right outside of Hot Cookie in the Castro. It was a somewhat nice day so you know you can always expect to see some nudity, especially in the Castro! I guess not everyone was expecting that though seeing from this black couple's reaction:

Man: That guy is ass naked! Like when he was born! That's crazy... He's butt naked trying to buy cookies!
Woman: [hysterically laughing] What the hell is going on here?
Man: He's ass naked. Just like "Hi, can I have 2 cookies, a brownie and those Hot Cookie underpants in the window?"
Woman: [calls her friend and tells the whole story]He is butt naked. I mean butt naked!! You hear me? I am not kidding!
Man: Like he's just coming into the world! Ass hole naked! No socks or nothin! Baseball hat is all...

What else was great was that the entire rest of the bus thought the couple was crazy, as did I,and not the naked guy. As one man on the bus said to them, "It's San Francisco and in this neighborhood that's normal!".

Thursday, June 9, 2011

5 Year Old Sings About Life

What's cuter than a 5 year old on the 24 Divisadero singing: "All I need is a song in my heart, food in my belly and love in my family..." to his mom? Not much. This on repeat for the whole bus ride? There are cuter things out there.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Sexual Tension With The General

Guard1: Cold shoulder man...
Guard2: Not talking to you?
Guard1: Yah, we're not mad at eachother anymore but...
Guard2: Sexual tension....
Guard1: There's no team playing now. It's like she's the colonel.
Guard2: I thought you two worked so well together.
Guard1: I'm like a soldier and she's a colonel... or a general.

- Two security guards waiting for the 1BX

Travel Back In Time

I sadly did not catch what this boy was asked by his friend but his answer was:

"Well no, that's only if you travel back in time!" - 1 California 9:30 am

Monday, June 6, 2011

Roller Coaster Bus

I was on the 38 Geary the other day along with a tiny child who, at every downhill no matter how small, would scream and put his hands up in the air as if he were on a roller coaster. I thought this was cute until today, on the 43 Masonic, I saw that this seemed to be a new fad... And when a big group of 12 year olds are screaming at the top of their lungs at every bump and downhill (hello! we are in San Francisco here!) it is far from amusing.
The 43 was so soooo crowded, like never before, because of these kids who insisted on screaming. I can only hope they weren't from San Francisco and that the hills were some kind of "treat" for them, because if they live here and if that's how they react every time they experience hills, I will never ride the 43 again.

Friday, June 3, 2011

When 1 Person Has the Whole Bus Concerned For Their Lives

I am pretty convinced that everyone on the 38 Geary at 4:45Pm today was equally concerned for their lives and for that matter, their limbs. I got on and sat in front of a sexually ambiguous homeless and pretty crazy individual. Luckily for me and my head, there was a row between us. Even that though didn't assure me that I would come out alive since this person was chanting some jumbled poem of sorts about his/her trials and tribulations while simultaneously slamming what looked like a metal pole/fan on the bus seat; to keep the beat of the poem, of course! Needless to say, I got off 3 stops later with my body all intact but maybe a little more deaf in one ear.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Dates With Girls Who Are Married

"So, I went out on this date with this girl.. right? And halfway through she's talking about her boyfriend! So I asked this other girl out and it went well... until she told me she was married! So yesterday I was supposed to meet with this other girl, but she didn't show. Can you believe I've gotten stood up so many times?? It's such bullshit! Again and again!" - Mike*, waiting for the 43 Masonic.

I knew him from a class of mine, what I never asked but couldn't help but think was how he asking these girls out? Clearly the girls were confused and thought he just wanted to hang out as friends if every single one was in a relationship. This kid was an ex army guy who lived on a boat...

*Name changed

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Slapping What Tonight?

Guy: What are you tryna do tonight?
Friend: I'm tryna slap tits!

Two high school boys on the 1 California 5:00pm